Promotions and blemish-free skin.

I got the promotion. Clearly my letter (combined with my generally fantastic performance at work, naturally) really did kick some arse.

I really am crap at remembering to update. And yet I dont know why, seeing as I love the opportunity to wax lyrical about nothing in particular - and obviously a blog is ideal for this as normally you dont get to talk talk talk without being expected to listen to the listener, at least a little bit. Which is fair enough. But everyone likes the opportunity for a little bit of uninterrupted chatter now and again. Myself more than most.

I've succumbed to tanorexia. Well, not quite - currently I've got my skin tone up to the average tone of that of a British person in Winter by way of tanning beds. My reasoning is that it is one way of dealing with the inevitable S.A.D. that I suffer from to a shamefully ridiculous extent every year - with some added cosmetic benefits.

However, at present only M and a few people at work know. Although I personally think my reasoning is perfectly sound, I'm not 100% sure that it would stand up to scrutiny/berating, and so I have chosen to not tell anyone else until I get it bullied out of me.

Currently I'm living in fear that when the inevitable confrontation happens with my family (which is bound to be on/around Christmas day, when they suddenly realise I look like I've popped off for a week in the Canaries), I will get flustered and blurt out something pathetic like "well statistically I'm bound to get cancer at some point in my life so I'm just choosing which type it is". Which I think only a little bit, and anyway to say so will not score me any points. So I'm avoiding it until it happens.

In other news, well there isn't much to be honest. Not much of any worth anyway.

Copy.

I need to write an ass kickingly good letter to get myself a promotion at my new job. Possibility has come up for a few of us to get the position, and they haven't told us how many positions there will be so quite a lot of people are applying and very possibly all for one job. Although I reckon there will be two available.

I'm qualified and experienced enough. But can I write good enough copy to get myself considered? And more to the point, am I likeable enough? Because at the end of the day, despite best intentions for equality and all that shit, I know that will come into it. And I don't know if I have endeared myself enough in the past week.

Watch this space. I'm off to go flex my first class honours dissertation writing fingers.

Engaging.

L & S from Morocco are engaged. That's the second couple in as many weeks. I have a feeling this is going to be a bit of a recurring theme over the next couple of years, although right now I can only think of one other pair in particular that I'm expecting it from any time soon.

I think there are expectations from others of myself and M to tell you the truth.
Not that they are unfair expectations, I have a certain amount of expectation myself (ahem, within the next 12-18 months). Although I have already made it clear that the ball is in his court for that one. And if that ball is not served within a reasonable amount of time, then its a double fault. Actually I'll give up on that incredibly lame tennis analogy - in simple terms, if I'm left hanging for too long then enough is enough. Not that we can afford anything any time soon. Oh well, we'll see how things go. J & B were the first of any of my personal friends (rather than acquaintances) to get engaged, and it feels a bit weird having friends get engaged around you when you yourselves don't know when you'll get around to it. But as I said - hopefully not too late!

I've got one of those eye blister things. I know I know, I sound dog rough. It's not really though, I don't even know if its actually a blister as such. Just a sore bit on the rim of my eyelid. Not nice. Hurts every time I blink. I can't remember if it is to do with tiredness or stress. Either way, I should go to bed now. Unfortunately two small naughty dogs have sneaked into my bed and need to be turfed out first.

Holding one's breath.

I would claim I've been busy, but I fear that would be a big fat lie. Well, perhaps not quite a lie of big and fat proportions, but certainly a little on the plump side.

Since previous postings, I have ditched my last job and started at a new one, attended an extended period of jury service, lasted to the all important five year mark (!) with M...and have managed to squeeze in a wee bit of the old celebrity spotting in the meantime. Oh yes. Heat magazine would be proud.

Ultimately the headhunting was not to be. I turned out to be a bit of a natural at it (yes really), but it was just too mind-numbing.

Also, as the weeks turned into months, I started to realise that this particular business is very likely to go under. It hasn't as yet, but it will do. Maybe before the end of this year, maybe early next year. Either way, I got out.*

I'm sure there are plenty of sayings to communicate not sitting about waiting for something to come crashing down on you, but whatever they are I cannot for the life of me remember them. I'm sure they are incredibly ineffective and useless sayings anyway.

Which leads me on to my jury service - 5 weeks!! Yes really. I have more than done my public duty. I think society owes me one. I had to postpone starting at my new job to waste time listening to the foolish dealings of a white collar criminal. And what utterly foolish dealings they were.

So then I eventually started my new job. Yesterday. And immediately had to sign a "blogging policy" to say that if I am a blogger/facebooker/use the internet in any shape or form, I am not to mention where I work. Not to explicitly give the company name or even to allude to it in such a way that renders it obvious.

Sounds like I work for somewhere James Bond wouldn't feel out of place in, doesn't it?

I don't. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Well actually, if one were to think outside the box I guess its not beyond the imagination. But anyway. Nowhere exotic. But nowhere I can discuss either. Not with the signed blogging policy still weighing on my mind anyway. Give me a few months and I'll have forgotten.

So I can't discuss my jury service in any depth really, which took up the last 5 working weeks of my life. And I can't discuss my new job either. And actually, I shouldn't really discuss my recent run-ins with celebs/sort-of-famous-or-and-talented people, as I think I signed something at my other job that prevents me from doing so. But I can't remember who it specifically applied to, as it didn't cover all of them.

So that just leaves my personal life. Which isn't up to much discussion, as its really rather dull. This evening for instance, I was seriously looking forward to settling down with Sky + to watch Strictly and X Factor, with my parents. Truly, these days that is my ultimate Saturday evening. And I have to confess, it was thoroughly enjoyable. Although Len Goodman was very grumpy tonight.

And that is basically all my news, give or take a bit. Since July. Oh actually, I forgot - the dog had her biannual haircut this week. How could I possibly say my life isn't full? Looking forward to Strictly/X Factor Saturdays and pet haircare. What's dull or inane about that?


*The credit crunch is not really to blame for this. Headhunting in the healthcare sector is not really an issue, as the NHS needs to function regardless. It was just on a dangerous downward spiral, caused by (I hate to say it as the MD was lovely, but) poor management. Bit fed up of the failing businesses/credit crunch bandwagon.

The Dark Knight.

Oh & also, a quick note - the new Batman film is, in a word, FANTASTIC.

I'm not really an action/superhero film fan (well actually I'm not AT ALL), but the Dark Knight was amazing. Really slick. And it actually seemed to have a storyline, I think. I was fully entertained throughout - and that NEVER happens in these sorts of films, especially if they're over two hours long*. But it was great. I'm taking my little brother to see it, as an excuse to see it again. I highly recommend it.

The only thing that grated in the film was Batman's RIDICULOUS voice. Not only was it was stupidly deep and gravelly (going with the macho thing though, so is partly forgivable - or at least understandable), but also it sounded like he was speaking in a whisper, but at the volume of a normal person yelling at the top of their voice. A sort of shouted whisper. Very weird, and rather annoying.

Heath Ledger's Joker kicks Jack Nicholson's arse, big time. I watched the whole of that Batman film again a couple of days ago to see**, and Nicholson's performance is not controlled enough and just comes off as nasty and vindictive rather than Ledger's performance of a thoroughly creepy, crazed, and damaged Joker. Which suits the character much better. Shame for Nicholson, as obviously his Joker was adequate at the time - unfortunately for him, it just pales in comparison. I only wish Heath Ledger was able to go on and play even more roles. The potential was huge. But I wont go on about that, as I feel the same as everyone else does about it all.

Anyway, as I said, once you get over Batman's habit of whispered shouting, the film is really really good and everyone - everyone - should see it.


*Yes, I know that description makes me sound like a child with zero attention span. I'm not, I just am really not that into actiony superheroey films in most cases.

**Which I do not recommend doing. Its too long, and quite simply too rubbish. Dont bother - find youtube clips instead.

Hunting.

It seems, since my last post, that I am now cool.

Well ok, that is stretching it a bit - I'm not that cool, because I didn't get the job I specially tweaked my CV for, but I must be a little bit cool because I did manage to get myself employed.

So. I am now working as a headhunter. Although actually, I'm not really sure how cool that is. It involves a LOT of lying, which is maybe cool in a mysterious/mischievious/bad person way..?

But it is also really very dull, so any coolness that might have been accumulated is negated by that really. Am not sure if I will be able to stick it out for six months (which is/was "the plan"), as I cannot abide dull jobs that are not particularly well paid - alike most of the population.

So I'm still job hunting. The only difference is that now its on the sly...

Be cool.

I have finally found out why I seem to be so unemployable these days.

Its not a lack of experience. Its not a lack of skills. Nor is it that my degree is in an essentially useless subject.

It is, quite simply, that I am not cool enough. Unbelievable though it may seem*, it is 100% true.

The geezer at the recruitment agency I'm with called me up today to tell me about an interesting ish 6 month admin job at a quite sought-after local media company. He gave me all the details of how perfect it was for me etc etc, and finished by telling me that my CV might need a bit of fiddling with as "although I am not by any means saying your CV is rubbish**, it just needs to, erm, show off your personality a bit more. You know, put a bit more in the interests section about liking going out and stuff - its quite a young company, I think you'll fit right in, you just need to bring your personality out a bit more on your CV."

So after this somewhat embarassing conversation, I then proceeded to faff about with my CV for almost an hour, trying my darndest to somehow appear cool without sounding lame for trying too hard.

However, seeing as I was making a concerted effort to meet the unexpectedly high demands of cool that are apparently required in today's world of work, I think it ultimately came off a bit try-hard. As I began to near the hour mark, I felt ashamed of trying so hard and so just submitted my CV as it was. And I felt very lame indeed.

Still, its not all bad. It sounds like my recruitment geez seems to genuinely believe I'm cool underneath my nerdy History graduate exterior, and that its only my sensibly written CV holding me back.

So I'm cool, just not on paper.


*Unbelievable that is, in terms of BOTH discriminatory laws AND of course my high levels of coolness.

**We all know he was saying exactly that.

Why is it that watching snowy scenes on television leaves you cold?

I mean really. Why? I am absolutely freezing my arse off watching a wintery scene in SATC.

Perhaps it is also because someone just fell to their death from a high-rise window in a rather creepy, if a little ridiculous manner. Although it is maybe the way in which it is trivialised that is leaving me a little cold.

Either way, I should be warm and cosy in bed, and not watching SATC just because it is available on Skyplus.

Skyplus is dangerous. I dont know how I will cope when I move out. How will I afford to eat when I am forking out a huge amount for TV?

Not having it is clearly not an option - how else will I "make TV fit my life"? If anything, without Skyplus my life will have to revolve even more rigidly around the TV schedule than it does currently.

Or at least that is the line I will take when the inevitable debate with M ensues about precisely why we are shopping at Aldi.

I blame Lost. Well, more specifically Sawyer in Lost.