Dilemma

Being as super technologically advanced as I am, I not only blog but I also use facebook. Unfortunately so do many many many of my work colleagues, most of whom I added when I worked alongside them.

Since working in a slightly* higher position I've been dwelling upon how appropriate this is. Indeed some of them update daily with such banal comments that I am beginning to regret adding them simply because the more I know about their personal lives, the more I dislike them. But once you've agreed to one of them, you start to get stuck and quite simply I can't be arsed with the awkward questions as to WHY I don't want to be their "facebook friend". Especially when the answer is I would NEVER be their "real-life" friend outside of work.

However, my dilemma has finally been brought to a head as one of them has just contacted me via facebook to complain about their rota.

But how to start the cull...? Some of them I genuinely want to stay on my facebook. But then the others will notice that, and then all those awkward questions (as outlined earlier) will start. Argh. I've got myself into a bit of a pickle that I'm still too immature/lazy to think through.

By the way if I happen to know you and you're reading this its unlikely you're one of those I've been questioning deleting. Very few people I actually know read this, so if you are its because I like you.

Ooh I sound so lovey dovey. Well no, I actually sound a bit bipolar: incredibly bitchy beyond reasonability one minute, then all nicey-nicey the next. But as I said, I'm a bit pathetic about offending people and moreover, I hate the hassle it causes.

However, I think its time. Soon. Probably.




*Don't get carried away - it is only very slightly; such is the success of my career.

To tweet or not to tweet...

I have revived my Twitter account.

I vaguely remembered creating an account what I thought must have been quite awhile ago, and I noticed the other week that there seems to be somewhat more of a Twitter scene these days*, so I poked about a bit in my inbox and found my username etc, and successfully Tweeted for the first time in...two years.

Apparently I was so enamoured with the whole Twitter "scene" last time that I posted four times, then gave up. A mere 48 hours later.

However, am willing to give it a bit more of a go this time. I seemed to have accrued some followers in my absence - no idea how, but I'm sure its mostly the usual porn/spammers though. In my attempt to try to keep it active (at least more active than the half-life that this blog is experiencing), I have decided to "follow" Jonathan Ross and Katie Price.

Still not convinced about the whole thing yet though. I'm sure its better if you have internet on your phone. Which of course I don't, seeing as my phone is about as hi-tech as a bloody tin can with string attached. Perhaps I'll treat myself to a fancy phone soon. Or perhaps not, as it'll only end up in the bath sooner or later, as all the phones I've ever owned have done.




*Yes, I know that makes me sound like some sort of reptile that has lived under a stone for the last five years. To be honest its quite suprising I even worked out what the hell a blog was, let alone hold a (somewhat) active facebook account.

Career plans. Who needs 'em.

Looking back at this (rather short, having deleted my previous blogging incarnation) blog, a recurring theme of my life seems to be losing interest in things in a rather fast manner. Jobs, films, life generally.

I was hoping to be able to defend myself against this. Unfortunately I have no defence, as the truth of the matter is yes, I do have an incredibly low boredom threshold.

Since my previous blog I have continued in my (promoted) job until February, gone off across three continents on an extended holiday/travelling thing for two months, then was taken back by my job in April on my return. And now I am fast getting fed up with it once more.

I used to think I had valid reasons for changing jobs when I was younger - better pay/working hours, more interesting duties (or colleagues), more scope for promotion, etc - all the usual things. And at the time, i.e. between the ages of 16 and 22, it didn't really matter if I had good enough justifications or not anyway.

However, more recently, I have been feeling pressed down under the rather large weight of the phrase "career". Why isn't a job just a job these days? Why are they suddenly now always careers?

The fact of the matter is, the simplicity implied by discussing one's employment in terms of a "job" just doesn't cut it if you have a degree: "career" suggests all sorts of long-term plans, and even goes so far as to imply that your degree might not have been a total waste of money academically.

Whereas of course, it was.

Mine was a relatively academic subject, considered rather difficult even by some. At college I was given all sorts of lip service along the lines of employers LOVING graduates, a degree shows aptitude for learning new skills etc, life experience, blah blah blah. Then I finish uni, and what is it employers are NOW looking for...? That's right. EXPERIENCE. Not so-called "life experience" (and don't get me wrong, I had fun at university), but actual hands-on, job-related experience.

So I find myself in a job with colleagues who cannot do enough to highlight just how hard they work. I believe more of their time is quite possibly spent showing how much work they do, rather than actually doing it. I'd like to be wrong about that, but I'm not sure that I am. But anyway, back to the point - I am now working somewhere I am feeling less motivated about each day, and yet I am stuck as I don't have any relevant experience.

Its not that I'm not ambitious enough. I think its that I'm too ambitious and am rapidly giving up hope as my ambitious nature is combined with an incredibly logical/realistic (some who know me well enough might even say cynical) outlook on life and I am starting to understand that my life ambitions in all likelihood will never be realised.

And I don't even have any crazy life ambitions. Just, you know, general fulfillment in certain areas of my life - career, family, relationship, friendships. Even two out of four would be good. The problem is, my job (or rather, my so-called "career") is having a negative effect on the other three areas. So I'm thinking thats the priority to sort out.

The big question is, in a recession, how to go about that?

My thinking is: to bide my time.

So, to conclude: despite my poor attention span, my waning interest in my job and its adverse effect on my quality of life, I will be staying put.

So forgive my lack of enthusiasm, but a plan that involves not deviating from what I'm already doing and doesn't hold any new/positive outcomes in the near future, well, is basically a shit plan. But what others are there?

I've analysed it with cold hard logic, and this is the most sensible plan I've come up with. To just ride it out. At least its different from what I have done previously in jobs until now. Although I may have had the right idea before. Time will tell. Hopefully not at the expense of my sanity.

Promotions and blemish-free skin.

I got the promotion. Clearly my letter (combined with my generally fantastic performance at work, naturally) really did kick some arse.

I really am crap at remembering to update. And yet I dont know why, seeing as I love the opportunity to wax lyrical about nothing in particular - and obviously a blog is ideal for this as normally you dont get to talk talk talk without being expected to listen to the listener, at least a little bit. Which is fair enough. But everyone likes the opportunity for a little bit of uninterrupted chatter now and again. Myself more than most.

I've succumbed to tanorexia. Well, not quite - currently I've got my skin tone up to the average tone of that of a British person in Winter by way of tanning beds. My reasoning is that it is one way of dealing with the inevitable S.A.D. that I suffer from to a shamefully ridiculous extent every year - with some added cosmetic benefits.

However, at present only M and a few people at work know. Although I personally think my reasoning is perfectly sound, I'm not 100% sure that it would stand up to scrutiny/berating, and so I have chosen to not tell anyone else until I get it bullied out of me.

Currently I'm living in fear that when the inevitable confrontation happens with my family (which is bound to be on/around Christmas day, when they suddenly realise I look like I've popped off for a week in the Canaries), I will get flustered and blurt out something pathetic like "well statistically I'm bound to get cancer at some point in my life so I'm just choosing which type it is". Which I think only a little bit, and anyway to say so will not score me any points. So I'm avoiding it until it happens.

In other news, well there isn't much to be honest. Not much of any worth anyway.

Copy.

I need to write an ass kickingly good letter to get myself a promotion at my new job. Possibility has come up for a few of us to get the position, and they haven't told us how many positions there will be so quite a lot of people are applying and very possibly all for one job. Although I reckon there will be two available.

I'm qualified and experienced enough. But can I write good enough copy to get myself considered? And more to the point, am I likeable enough? Because at the end of the day, despite best intentions for equality and all that shit, I know that will come into it. And I don't know if I have endeared myself enough in the past week.

Watch this space. I'm off to go flex my first class honours dissertation writing fingers.

Engaging.

L & S from Morocco are engaged. That's the second couple in as many weeks. I have a feeling this is going to be a bit of a recurring theme over the next couple of years, although right now I can only think of one other pair in particular that I'm expecting it from any time soon.

I think there are expectations from others of myself and M to tell you the truth.
Not that they are unfair expectations, I have a certain amount of expectation myself (ahem, within the next 12-18 months). Although I have already made it clear that the ball is in his court for that one. And if that ball is not served within a reasonable amount of time, then its a double fault. Actually I'll give up on that incredibly lame tennis analogy - in simple terms, if I'm left hanging for too long then enough is enough. Not that we can afford anything any time soon. Oh well, we'll see how things go. J & B were the first of any of my personal friends (rather than acquaintances) to get engaged, and it feels a bit weird having friends get engaged around you when you yourselves don't know when you'll get around to it. But as I said - hopefully not too late!

I've got one of those eye blister things. I know I know, I sound dog rough. It's not really though, I don't even know if its actually a blister as such. Just a sore bit on the rim of my eyelid. Not nice. Hurts every time I blink. I can't remember if it is to do with tiredness or stress. Either way, I should go to bed now. Unfortunately two small naughty dogs have sneaked into my bed and need to be turfed out first.

Holding one's breath.

I would claim I've been busy, but I fear that would be a big fat lie. Well, perhaps not quite a lie of big and fat proportions, but certainly a little on the plump side.

Since previous postings, I have ditched my last job and started at a new one, attended an extended period of jury service, lasted to the all important five year mark (!) with M...and have managed to squeeze in a wee bit of the old celebrity spotting in the meantime. Oh yes. Heat magazine would be proud.

Ultimately the headhunting was not to be. I turned out to be a bit of a natural at it (yes really), but it was just too mind-numbing.

Also, as the weeks turned into months, I started to realise that this particular business is very likely to go under. It hasn't as yet, but it will do. Maybe before the end of this year, maybe early next year. Either way, I got out.*

I'm sure there are plenty of sayings to communicate not sitting about waiting for something to come crashing down on you, but whatever they are I cannot for the life of me remember them. I'm sure they are incredibly ineffective and useless sayings anyway.

Which leads me on to my jury service - 5 weeks!! Yes really. I have more than done my public duty. I think society owes me one. I had to postpone starting at my new job to waste time listening to the foolish dealings of a white collar criminal. And what utterly foolish dealings they were.

So then I eventually started my new job. Yesterday. And immediately had to sign a "blogging policy" to say that if I am a blogger/facebooker/use the internet in any shape or form, I am not to mention where I work. Not to explicitly give the company name or even to allude to it in such a way that renders it obvious.

Sounds like I work for somewhere James Bond wouldn't feel out of place in, doesn't it?

I don't. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Well actually, if one were to think outside the box I guess its not beyond the imagination. But anyway. Nowhere exotic. But nowhere I can discuss either. Not with the signed blogging policy still weighing on my mind anyway. Give me a few months and I'll have forgotten.

So I can't discuss my jury service in any depth really, which took up the last 5 working weeks of my life. And I can't discuss my new job either. And actually, I shouldn't really discuss my recent run-ins with celebs/sort-of-famous-or-and-talented people, as I think I signed something at my other job that prevents me from doing so. But I can't remember who it specifically applied to, as it didn't cover all of them.

So that just leaves my personal life. Which isn't up to much discussion, as its really rather dull. This evening for instance, I was seriously looking forward to settling down with Sky + to watch Strictly and X Factor, with my parents. Truly, these days that is my ultimate Saturday evening. And I have to confess, it was thoroughly enjoyable. Although Len Goodman was very grumpy tonight.

And that is basically all my news, give or take a bit. Since July. Oh actually, I forgot - the dog had her biannual haircut this week. How could I possibly say my life isn't full? Looking forward to Strictly/X Factor Saturdays and pet haircare. What's dull or inane about that?


*The credit crunch is not really to blame for this. Headhunting in the healthcare sector is not really an issue, as the NHS needs to function regardless. It was just on a dangerous downward spiral, caused by (I hate to say it as the MD was lovely, but) poor management. Bit fed up of the failing businesses/credit crunch bandwagon.